#but i'd be lying if i didn't say he's interesting as fuck to analyze

[juststandingthere]

would anyone be interested in an extremely speculative and possibly incorrect essay on how Jimmy's pov distorts the events of the story, with a focus on how Daisuke and Swansea's father-son relationship is misinterpreted by him so that it can fit his version of everything that happens?

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

In another edition of "BE A BETTER FUCKING LIAR", a guy we'll call... Sales (bc fuck 'im, he's not worth a good name)... hit me up on Facebook, which I hate but use for business-y shit.

First weird, bc I just set all new profiles everywhere bc my stalker ex had his friends bugging me and so it had like 4 business related posts and the profile pic was a cartoon of me that my extremely talented kid drew (who I'd be happy to put links for except he doesn't give them to me... @aceofenderafterdark though, he's great) and like a 2 sentence bio calling Damian the worst Robin and Episode 1 the worst Star Wars.

That was it.

Claimed my profile image showed creativity, and I'm like yep sure does... that of an 18 year old boy who helped his mom our by drawing it bc I'm terrible. Had a bunch of comic stuff, though didn't seem to get into my analysis of them but just like pics of merch. Which neat but I'd rather hear who you think is better Superman or Martian Manhunter and why it's 100% J'onn than see a picture of an action figure.

Made my no casual sex position clear. He claimed that no he really wanted to get to know me and a relationship.

Yeah, sure, never heard that before.

I'm asking him questions... getting like nothing back. He invites me to his place including some play, I said no.

I said I had given him the playbook, that I expected some romance, some wooing, some genuine interest beyond physical before I met and he hadn't passed the pre screen

He countered he'd be romantic in person. I explained that sweaty groping isn't romance and any guy not willing to put in the effort in advance isn't going to be -- they say it to get you there and then keep pushing your boundaries and standards hoping you'll fuck them on a whim.

"No I want to tease you before I fuck you."

First, confirms my opinion, second tells me you're gonna be a shitty partner since you haven't listened to what I like.

Asked me for the same damn thing I already said no to -- y'all, I do not stutter, I do not mumble, I don't waffle, I don't try to soften blows... when I say no, it is incredibly fucking clear.

He claimed he needed more guidance on what I was looking for in pre screening. I said showing genuine interest beyond physical would be a start.

He asked my favorite movie.

I'd already told him 3 times.

AND IT'S RETURN OF THE FUCKING JEDI, ITS NOT EXACTLY OBSCURE!

Some other dude tried to say men don't pay attention to that shit bc they think important things (bitch I am analyzing the entire planet at once and I can tell you how to make B's favorite chicken without doing it for years, remember his Chinese name I'm forbidden to use, how to make M tea I haven't made in 8 years, along with his favorite war stories even though they bored me, what game N liked at the casino and his favorite TV show... and they were years ago. I can also tell you Riveria's WS ERA in the 90s, and describe the phenomenon of the exploding fastball and how few pitchers have ever pulled it off, put forth a compelling defense of Pete Rose for the Hall even if he's a bastard bc he knows more about the game than any man living or dead.... I can cite constitutional theory and precedents for how all drugs constitutionally should be legal, though regulation is fine, give you an analysis of any philosopher taught at a college level that decimates the professor, discuss the comparative strength of every classic Godzilla film, dissect and enjoy Shakespeare and Sanderson with equal measure and thoroughness, BACKWARDS AND HEELS... Men have too much important to remember a movie. Bite my feminist ass.) And beyond that an extra question of "why?" would have demonstrated how I think as well a lot about my values and character (I take my Star Wars seriously.)

Honestly, I expect people to lie sometimes. I don't like it but hey men lying to fuck women is nothing new. But ffs, doing so badly is so goddamn insulting to my intelligence.

Get better.